When Cate’s* 21-year-old daughter told her she was raped by a college athlete and his roommate in 2016, she immediately went to be by her daughter’s side. Cate says that caring for her daughter during the aftermath of this profound trauma was instrumental in helping her begin the recovery process.
“It is important to let children know you are there for them — even if you think they already know this,” says Cate. “Make sure they know that they can reach out to you at any time, however they want — calling, texting, messaging on an app — so they know they’re not alone.”
That’s especially important as sexual violence remains a significant problem on college campuses, even with increased awareness. Survivors may process trauma differently, but many experience a multitude of effects, including anxiety, depression, panic attacks and self-harm. Caregivers, though, can play a crucial role in reducing the impact of trauma from sexual violence.
“After a traumatic event, the support of caregivers can be extremely important in helping a survivor feel safe, protected and seen,” said Sarah Gundle, a psychotherapist in New York City who treats trauma survivors.
A Significant Problem On College Campuses
According to the Department of Justice, reports of sexual assault on college campuses are rising. From 2001 to 2017, the National Center for Educational Statistics found a 372% increase in forced sexual contact. While there has been some increase in survivors reporting assault, sexual violence remains an under-reported problem.
All students can be impacted. According to the Association of American Universities, 26.4% of females, 6.9% of males and 23.1% of trans/non-binary students were raped/sexually assaulted through physical force, coercion or incapacitation at the 21 U.S. colleges that participated in their 2019 report.
Cate’s daughter — who took the gum she had in her mouth and stuck it under one of the rapists’ nightstands to prove she was there in case they tried to claim otherwise — followed several critical steps that experts often recommend. She went to the hospital after the rape, worked with a rape victims advocate, reported the rape to law enforcement and filed a Title IX complaint.
Title IX — the 1972 landmark civil rights legislation that prohibits sex discrimination at universities that receive federal funding — also requires colleges to investigate allegations of assault/harassment when a Title IX complaint is filed with the school.
Cate told Huffpost that her daughter won her Title IX case, and both rapists were expelled from school and barred from participating in collegiate sports. Both perpetrators were also charged with assault and rape. Before their criminal trial, they pled to a lesser assault charge. Court documents reviewed by HuffPost show they each served less than two months.
“Even though the rapists got way too short of a sentence, my daughter did everything she could to stand up to her attackers and take back her power,” Cate said. But she added that although her daughter won her Title IX complaint, many perpetrators are not held accountable.
How Campus Sexual Assault Is Usually Handled
Universities across the country vary in how they handle sexual violence. But multiple studies and an extensive review of universities compliance with Title IX found they underreported sexual misconduct and prioritized protecting the schools’ reputation over survivors’ safety.
Students accused of assault have the right to due process, but a USA Today investigation found many schools minimized punishment for abusers, created obstacles for reporting, and discouraged survivors from filing complaints.
At some schools, administrators and campus police tried to deter survivors from going to law enforcement and failed to expel serial rapists. USA Today’s investigation found that Marshall University in West Virginia significantly delayed expelling a known offender, Joseph Hardin, in 2016. Hardin was expelled three years later, after he was charged with assaulting two more students. He was later convicted in one of those cases and sentenced to up to 50 years in prison and 30 years of supervised release. (Marshall University did not respond to a request for comment.)
Schools are required to designate at least one staff member as their Title IX coordinator. Coordinators oversee the Title IX complaint process, the university’s response to assault/harassment allegations and the school’s compliance with Title IX requirements. In some instances, they may also function as an investigator in Title IX complaints, but experts report that in many cases, their lack of specialized training raises concerns.
“Despite Title IX coordinators dealing with serious sexual assault and harassment cases, they frequently have no expertise in trauma or training in assault investigations,” Gundle said.
Many educators/advocates report changes made under the Trump administration weakened protections for survivors because it limited the type of misconduct universities were required to investigate. The Biden administration later reversed many of the Trump era changes, expanded the definition of assault and harassment, and added protections for pregnant students.
Experts report that despite the challenges with Title IX, survivors who want to file a complaint should use their legal right to do so.
What Caregivers Can Do
Families can also take important steps to help their child be better supported, protected, and retain their due process rights.
Create an action plan
It’s important for caregivers to be proactive and discuss all different issues that can arise — even ones that can be uncomfortable or upsetting to think about — as children are growing up. But it’s particularly important to have specific safety discussions before they start college, said Robyn Silverman, a child and teen development specialist in North Carolina and author of the book “How to Talk to Kids About Anything.” This can be a time of increased independence, meeting new people, and some students may be away from home for the first time.
Creating an emergency plan can help students feel empowered and know what to do if they were ever harmed, explained Silverman.
Caregivers should discuss who their child would call first in an emergency, what resources are available at school, and ensure they know where the local hospital is since they should be seen there before taking a shower if they are sexually assaulted.
“Have a list of emergency numbers programmed in their phone and written down in their room in case their phone is taken,” Silverman added.
Remind them it’s not their fault
Victim blaming is still prevalent in assault cases, and shame and fear can prevent survivors from coming forward. Silverman recommends that conversations around consent begin years before children leave for college, and caregivers should ensure that their children know that if they were ever assaulted, it’s never their fault and that you are there to support them.
Language really matters. If a child does share that they were sexually assaulted, it’s crucial that caregivers respond appropriately. “A parent’s response can have a real impact on a survivor’s recovery,” Silverman added.
Discuss legal and educational rights
Families should familiarize themselves with their school’s policy on harassment/assault. Ensure students know they have the right to file a formal Title IX complaint and review the steps in that process. Filing a Title IX complaint and reporting an assault to law enforcement are different processes ― survivors have the legal right to do both.
Silverman said it’s important that survivors have agency in deciding future steps they may take, and if anyone (administrator/campus police/law enforcement) tries to discourage them from reporting an assault or filing a complaint, they should inform a trusted adult immediately.
Felice Duffy, a former prosecutor and attorney in Connecticut who represents students in Title IX cases, told HuffPost that even if a student is unsure if they want to report an assault, preserving evidence is still important, in case they need it later.
“A rape kit should still be done,” Duffy said, adding that if a survivor thinks they were drugged, “it’s important to get a blood test as soon as possible.”
Silverman recommends saving any messages, comments, posts and images from social media that could potentially be evidence.
Duffy also suggests that students work with an attorney who can provide expertise throughout the Title IX complaint process. If there are financial constraints, families can contact low-cost legal services and advocacy groups for assistance. There is also an option for an informal resolution with the school that students can explore if they don’t want to proceed with a formal complaint.
There is no statute of limitations to file a Title IX complaint with a university, but the student filing the complaint must still be participating (or attempting to participate) in the university’s activities (under this stipulation, alumni may also qualify), Duffy said.
A student can also file a complaint with the Office of Civil Rights and report assault/harassment/discrimination or any concerns they may have over how their Title IX complaint was handled by their university. Complaints filed with the Office of Civil Rights generally need to be filed within 180 days from the most recent incident of abuse/discrimination.
Know the importance of a safe space
The impact of sexual assault can be compounded when survivors don’t have a safe space to talk, and it is imperative that they are connected to the right support services, such as a therapist or advocate, Gundle said.
In the aftermath of a traumatic event, going through the nuances of finding a counselor can be challenging. “It’s important to be proactive, in case there is ever an emergency,” she said. “Discuss how students can locate support in their area, find a therapist, use their insurance (if they have coverage), and where to find services on campus.”
If family relationships are strained and students can’t turn to their parents, Gundle suggests they contact organizations that support survivors. But even when families are close, some young adults may hesitate to share a traumatic event. If caregivers suspect something may have happened, Gundle said they should continue to gently let their child know they are there for them, no matter what.
“I don’t think you can possibly overstate that you are there, whenever they want to talk,” she said. “It’s also important to let your children know that even if they are not ready to share something with you, they can still access help, talk to another trusted adult, and they don’t need your consent to speak to a therapist.”
Cate says that as survivors begin the healing process, it’s important to remember that while support in the immediate aftermath is critical, long-term support is also crucial.
“Let your child know that no matter how long it takes, you are there for them,” she added.